Cheat Day

BEEP BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP BEPP! This is a special blog entry.

CB Reporting from onsite at IHOP…

Don’t fucking judge us; today is cheat day, and we had the Simple & Fit Whole Wheat Pancakes with Blueberries.

F.U. Strong letter to follow.

<Dude walks in with Chick wearing last night’s impossibly short shorts>

And yes, Dr. Cooper, by “impossibly” I mean “improbably.”


aaaaaaaand scene …

DP: Wow. Just wow.

CB: Yeah, I’m pretty sure breakfast was part of the negotiation for a full night rate.

Chick: I think I’ll have the oatmeal.

Dude: No. You should get something with meat that will get you all full. I don’t want you to eat all my peanut butter

DP: Seriously? The best thing is that he wasn’t worried that she’d eat all the food he had. He was worried about his peanut butter. Clearly, all he HAS is peanut butter!

Chick:  DUDE!

(yes, she really addressed him as “Dude”)

Chick: We should TOTALLY give blood!

Dude: I don’t think ANYONE wants our blood – especially after last night.

Chick: Noooooo. They give you free movie tickets if you give blood.

Dude: I’ve never heard of that. I don’t think that’s true.

Chick: It’s totally true. I have a friend and she was telling me about it. She gave blood and asked “Hey, do you have any of those free movie tickets?” and they said “Yeah, I think we still have some of those.” It’s REAL, but they don’t advertise, so you have to ask for them.

The best part of all this, is that IHOP now offers entertainment! Pancakes AND a show! What could be better?

Of course, Danger Puppy was washing her cute little paws when this all went down, so I had to relay all this to her.

DP: Now I don’t feel so bad about rolling pennies to buy beer in college. Forget selling plasma. If you’re trading blood for movie tickets, you are seriously broke as hell. She’s gonna hate that bus ride of shame back home (cause we all know she don’t have a damn car).”



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