Chaos Boy has an alter ego: Professor Awesome. When Professor Awesome is out doing his nocturnal knowledge spewing thing I, Danger Puppy, am free to get into trouble. Tonight “trouble” means “wine.” And when I get boozy, I tend to get muse-y. Here are some tidbits to improve your life:
1) If your kid is an asshole, it’s your duty as a parent to tell him/her. You can only model so much for your kids: some kids are thick. Showing is best, but telling is okay too.
2) If you’re angry with your significant other (because he put his umbrella in his t-shirt drawer?) and feel a fight brewing, take off your clothes. I dare you to see how long you can argue naked.
3) Pay close attention to the way your friends talk to you about other people. That’s exactly how they talk about you when you’re not around.
4) Family is important, but so is your sanity. If someone is literally more trouble to you than he/she is worth, ask yourself whether he/she would be in your life at all if it weren’t for the blood your share. You’ll know what to do from there.
5) Turn your freaking headlights on when it’s rainy, foggy, or just not freaking light enough out for me to see your damn grey car.
6) Never take a chatty person hiking.
7) There’s no shame in binge watching a show. In fact, lying on the couch like broccoli for two days watching an entire season of Bones is good for the soul.
8) Wine is like sex: it’s usually best when shared with someone…usually.
9) Not all lists have to have ten items.