Chaos Boy has a pet peeve (“a” meaning 3,253,601 of them). Nothing lights his academically inclined shorts on fire faster than someone who claims to be speechless but can’t seem to shut the fuck up. He instantly goes all Inigo Montoya. (If you don’t know who that is, I’ll wait right here while you google that shit and get up to speed with the rest of the class.)
The last time CB lost his figurative shit about this prolific problem I pointed out that there might be another interpretation of the word “speechless.” Perhaps the person had left his notes at home and was, in fact, without a speech, not without the ability to speak. (Admit it. You wish you looked at the world the way I do.)
Now instead of getting irritated when someone says she’s speechless, Chaos Boy laughs. Mission accomplished.