CB here with a tale for you:
Once upon a time, there lived a cheeky little boy. This boy thought he knew some shit and had the world figured out. One day, this boy’s family moved him to the realm of Clintonia. This was a strange and backwards land filled with villagers fond of shootin’, scratchin’, and spittin’.
This little boy had a scarededed.
This little boy found a way to make do in this strange and foreign land by spreading chaos wherever he could. It was entertaining for him as he was a fan of schadenfreude from way back.
For those who don’t speak German (or Broadway): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQGQ5qBQTA
One day, he was wandering the vast realm trying to find some mischief and saw this adorable little puppy living in a chocolate house. He knew this puppy must be for a boy, because who wouldn’t love a puppy in a chocolate house? Dumb fuckers. That’s who.
These two spent many a day creating chaos and saving the world. This was a match made in Heaven. They were inseparable.
Then one day, the boy had to leave. He had to go to a chaos school, and the puppy had to go to super hero training. Sadly, the boy and the puppy got lost.
They never saw each other again.
Or did they?
One day, this puppy said “This is some bullshit. I’m gonna find that boy. He can’t be hard to find cause he’ll be surrounded by chaos, and I know how to use the Interwebz.” Someone thought it would be a good idea to give a puppy thumbs. If only she had startup capital, but that is a tale for another day…
She was right. The boy was easy to find. He was spreading chaos throughout the lands. Because he had no super hero to help him clean up his messes, things got pretty ugly.
Fortunately, this puppy not only graduated super hero training with flying colors, she had a lot of experience saving dumb fuckers.
She was just what a boy needed. This is why she gets to wear the cape (though he sometimes runs around the house wearing nothing but the cape when she’s not looking. Shhhhh – don’t tell!)
You truly have saved me, and I love you dearly. You are my super hero. Happy Anniversary and thank you for making me the luckiest boy in the world!