Do Not Try This At Home (Or At Least Don’t Tell Anyone)

Chaos Boy loves the Samsung commercial that features children recreating what they’ve seen on the Olympics in creative ways. His favorite is the kid who skis down the stairs. Inside the house. While I contend that it’s a lawsuit waiting to happy since little children usually cannot read well enough or fast enough to catch the “do not try this at home” warning in tiny type at the bottom of the screen, Chaos Boy just sees a great big pile of awesome. But the ad is nowhere near so awesome as what he just told me.

CB: When we were kids we used to tie sandwich bags to the cat’s feet, chase her down the stairs, and then watch as she skittered across the floor when she hit the linoleum.

DP: You’re kind of an asshole. I’m surprised Sarah McLachlan hasn’t written a song about you.

CB: I would never tell anyone but you about that.

DP: Well, you know I’m gonna tell the interwebz.


The Real Breakfast of Champions

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I made Chaos Boy a boy-fest (aka “breakfast”) of Greek yogurt, Cheerios, and banana. The bowl was super full of this pink goodness, and CB, who had just dressed for work in jeans and a bright pink shirt with a stylin’ bowtie, was doing his best to mix everything together without spilling it in his lap or, even worse, on the loveseat. He was not successful.


DP: At least it’s on your jeans and not your shirt.

CB: True.

DP: Since it’s pink it’ll look like fairy jizz when it dries.

CB: Or as we fairies like to call it, “jizz.”

I am still laughing! 🙂

Keepin’ It Real

Chaos Boy upon smelling a wine he’d just decanted: “Ooooo. I can tell we’re gonna like this one.”

DP: “Oh. Did you taste it?”

CB: “No, but I smelled it. I just love it when a wine smells buttery.”

DP: “Buttery? You mean like a Club Cracker? The wine smells of Keebler?”

CB: “YES!”

DP: “You’re a douche.”


Chaos Boy just went to get me a glass of the wine:

DP: “Am I gonna want cheese with the wine?”

CB: “I don’t know. Do you like fromage with your elf taint?”

Then. After he tasted the wine…

CB: “Mmmmm. Elfin magic!”

Hahahaha! I really do have the best boy in the history of everdom.