Mystery Solved?

We had just dropped Winky (yes, she’s a house elf) off at school this morning and were on our way to Chaos Boy’s lair/office when…

CB: Ooo! Seahorse! (A decorative one on a house, not lying in the road. This isn’t Spongeturd NoPants!)

DP: I never noticed that before. But I’m usually driving when I come through here. I’m too busy watching out for crazies so I don’t die.

CB: And you’re too busy watching out for Joe when I’m driving. (“Joe” is what I say when I see a pedestrian, usually a jaywalker. When startled, I talk about as well as a dog with a mouthful of peanut butter. I had to find a go-to word to blurt out.)

DP: I have a serious fear of hitting a pedestrian or a cyclist. They just come out of nowhere.

<Ten minutes later, texting Chaos Boy from the Dog House>

DP: Almost hit a pedestrian. :0

CB: Oh no! Poor puppy. Damn you, Joe!

DP: Saw her at the corner. Thought she was something covered with a blue trash bag. Nice poncho, bitch!

CB: Oh wow.

DP: In other news, Tom (our neighbor) is apparently musical. I saw him loading a keyboard in his car.

CB: Wow, multitalented. Brewmaster, golfer, moosical. Man of mystery.

DP: Guess we know who was burying bodies the other night.

CB: Yup.

That’s it right there. THAT is why we’re married.