We had just dropped Winky (yes, she’s a house elf) off at school this morning and were on our way to Chaos Boy’s lair/office when…
CB: Ooo! Seahorse! (A decorative one on a house, not lying in the road. This isn’t Spongeturd NoPants!)
DP: I never noticed that before. But I’m usually driving when I come through here. I’m too busy watching out for crazies so I don’t die.
CB: And you’re too busy watching out for Joe when I’m driving. (“Joe” is what I say when I see a pedestrian, usually a jaywalker. When startled, I talk about as well as a dog with a mouthful of peanut butter. I had to find a go-to word to blurt out.)
DP: I have a serious fear of hitting a pedestrian or a cyclist. They just come out of nowhere.
<Ten minutes later, texting Chaos Boy from the Dog House>
DP: Almost hit a pedestrian. :0
CB: Oh no! Poor puppy. Damn you, Joe!
DP: Saw her at the corner. Thought she was something covered with a blue trash bag. Nice poncho, bitch!
CB: Oh wow.
DP: In other news, Tom (our neighbor) is apparently musical. I saw him loading a keyboard in his car.
CB: Wow, multitalented. Brewmaster, golfer, moosical. Man of mystery.
DP: Guess we know who was burying bodies the other night.
That’s it right there. THAT is why we’re married.